1 00:00:03,137 --> 00:00:07,172 Now I ask you, is this a pirate, or is this a pirate? 2 00:00:07,174 --> 00:00:08,107 Hmm. 3 00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,174 (Kate) 'Lynnie?' 4 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:11,010 Oh. It's a pirate, mom. 5 00:00:12,780 --> 00:00:15,114 - Willie? - Uh, definitely a pirate. 6 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:18,450 Good morning. 7 00:00:20,554 --> 00:00:22,121 What are you wearing? 8 00:00:22,123 --> 00:00:24,857 Touch of your aftershave. 9 00:00:24,859 --> 00:00:28,160 No, I meant those silly glasses. 10 00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:31,530 Silly glasses? Look who's talking. 11 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,399 This is my Halloween costume. 12 00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,835 What are you supposed to be? 13 00:00:36,837 --> 00:00:38,203 Gene Shalit. 14 00:00:39,306 --> 00:00:41,206 Too obscure? 15 00:00:41,208 --> 00:00:44,143 You're not planning on going trick-or-treating, are you? 16 00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,311 Are you kidding? I can't wait. 17 00:00:46,313 --> 00:00:49,848 I'm gonna come back with a bag full of candy apples 18 00:00:49,850 --> 00:00:53,052 popcorn balls and cats. 19 00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:56,388 ALF, no one's gonna give you a cat. 20 00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,359 Well, that's right. You have to bob for cats. 21 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,428 [theme music] 22 00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:31,256 [music continues] 23 00:02:02,923 --> 00:02:04,189 [instrumental music] 24 00:02:11,298 --> 00:02:12,397 What's the matter? 25 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,968 Oh, I-I can't sleep. 26 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,675 It's my job promotion. I-I think I blew it. 27 00:02:23,677 --> 00:02:26,278 What? Honey, how? 28 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,513 Well, today Mr. Burke took me off 29 00:02:27,515 --> 00:02:30,149 that teen runaway project I was working on. 30 00:02:30,151 --> 00:02:32,317 I was working on that project for three months! 31 00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,153 - You're kidding! - No, honey. 32 00:02:34,155 --> 00:02:38,157 He needs me, he says, for an internal investigation. 33 00:02:38,159 --> 00:02:40,692 So I have to go through all the requisition files 34 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:43,362 and see if I can locate his missing water cooler. 35 00:02:45,032 --> 00:02:46,999 Well, I hope you yelled at him. 36 00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:49,001 I sure did. 37 00:02:49,003 --> 00:02:52,838 But I think I can kiss that promotion.. 38 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,973 ...goodbye. 39 00:02:54,975 --> 00:02:58,110 Oh, honey, you can kiss me goodnight. 40 00:02:58,112 --> 00:02:59,878 I'm proud of you. 41 00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:01,980 - Yeah? - Yeah. 42 00:03:01,982 --> 00:03:04,216 [both chuckle] 43 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,227 Oh, good, you're up. 44 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:21,066 Get out of here! 45 00:03:21,068 --> 00:03:24,236 Not until we get this Halloween thing straightened out. 46 00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,205 [sighs] We already said no, ALF. 47 00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:28,307 You cannot go out trick-or-treating for candy. 48 00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:31,076 Forget that fear of cavities, Kate. 49 00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,378 I brush once a month, like clockwork. 50 00:03:34,682 --> 00:03:36,982 We're not talking about cavities, ALF. 51 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,184 We're talking about somebody seeing you. 52 00:03:39,186 --> 00:03:40,219 Come on, Will-height 53 00:03:40,221 --> 00:03:43,322 this body is the perfect Halloween costume. 54 00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:47,392 Besides I have to get out and see new faces. 55 00:03:47,394 --> 00:03:49,595 Why you ask? 56 00:03:49,597 --> 00:03:51,230 I didn't ask why. 57 00:03:51,232 --> 00:03:54,099 - Well, would you? - Why? 58 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,536 Why what? 59 00:03:57,538 --> 00:04:00,272 Why do you have to get out and see new faces? 60 00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:04,343 Why the third degree? I just want to go trick-or-treating. 61 00:04:04,345 --> 00:04:08,280 You can't, ALF, it's too dangerous. 62 00:04:08,282 --> 00:04:10,616 Then you leave me no choice. 63 00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,351 Read it and weep. 64 00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:17,189 "Free the Halloween one?" 65 00:04:17,191 --> 00:04:19,458 It's a petition signed by America's 66 00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:21,193 most prominent citizens. 67 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,564 "We demand that you let ALF go trick-or-treating. 68 00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:28,533 "Signed Presidents Reagan, Carter, Ford, Lincoln.. 69 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,870 ...and Mercury." 70 00:04:33,607 --> 00:04:35,407 This is your handwriting. 71 00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:37,209 Hey, it's a joke, man. 72 00:04:37,211 --> 00:04:39,244 My way of saying, let the funny little alien 73 00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:41,713 have a crack at the outside world 74 00:04:41,715 --> 00:04:43,415 for one lousy night! 75 00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,284 No. 76 00:04:45,286 --> 00:04:48,754 Alright, I'm taking this to the supreme court. 77 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:51,990 All the way to Chief Justice Pontiac, I suppose. 78 00:04:53,227 --> 00:04:55,594 Look, look, I'll make you a deal. 79 00:04:55,596 --> 00:04:57,396 You let me go out for Halloween 80 00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,065 and I'll tell you how you could still get that promotion. 81 00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:03,935 How do you know about that? 82 00:05:03,937 --> 00:05:07,272 The amazing ALF knows everything. 83 00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:10,342 Was the amazing ALF listening at our door again? 84 00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:13,245 The amazing ALF never reveals his secrets. 85 00:05:14,915 --> 00:05:16,982 Anyway, what we have to do here 86 00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:19,084 is dig up some dirt on your boss. 87 00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:23,855 Does he steal from the company? Go to the salad bar illegally? 88 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,357 Chew with his mouth open? 89 00:05:25,359 --> 00:05:28,660 - You chew with your mouth open. - Oh, smart, Willie. 90 00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:32,264 Dig up dirt on me. I can't give you that promotion. 91 00:05:33,334 --> 00:05:35,200 Goodnight, ALF. 92 00:05:35,202 --> 00:05:37,969 Alright, alright, wait. Forget the dirt. 93 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:41,139 Get the bossman to like you again. 94 00:05:41,141 --> 00:05:43,809 Invite him to a party and butter him up. 95 00:05:43,811 --> 00:05:46,545 I'm not gonna give a party to butter up my boss. 96 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:50,515 Who do you think I am, Dagwood Bumstead? 97 00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,151 Think very carefully.. 98 00:05:53,153 --> 00:05:55,354 ...before you answer that. 99 00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:59,024 Oh, Willie, a-a party might be fun. 100 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,360 I can't think of the last time that we had a party. 101 00:06:01,362 --> 00:06:04,563 I mean, our social lives kinda gone to pot since.. 102 00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:08,233 ...since you-know-who arrived. 103 00:06:08,235 --> 00:06:10,469 - Who? - You. 104 00:06:10,471 --> 00:06:12,237 You mean all those times you complained 105 00:06:12,239 --> 00:06:15,407 about you-know-who, it was me? 106 00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,542 So what do you say, honey? 107 00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,078 Let's have a party and have a few people over. 108 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:22,881 Oh, okay, but not my boss. 109 00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:24,549 I'll handle Mr. Burke myself 110 00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:27,252 in...my own way. 111 00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:28,320 Oh, good thinking. 112 00:06:28,322 --> 00:06:31,390 Have a party and exclude the boss. 113 00:06:31,392 --> 00:06:34,159 Better yet, walk in tomorrow morning and hit him with mud. 114 00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:38,964 Oh, brother. 115 00:06:44,872 --> 00:06:46,972 [doorbell rings] 116 00:06:51,445 --> 00:06:53,044 - Trick or treat? - Trick or treat? 117 00:06:53,046 --> 00:06:55,414 Oh, what do we have here? 118 00:06:55,416 --> 00:06:57,682 We are The Three Stooges. 119 00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:58,884 Three? 120 00:06:58,886 --> 00:07:01,353 Well, Moe had to go to the bathroom. 121 00:07:02,356 --> 00:07:03,755 Oh. 122 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:06,958 Well, here, and, uh, take one for Moe. 123 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,527 - Thank you. - Happy Halloween. 124 00:07:08,529 --> 00:07:09,795 - Happy Halloween. - Happy Halloween. 125 00:07:09,797 --> 00:07:11,263 (both) Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck. 126 00:07:11,265 --> 00:07:14,099 Nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck, nyuck.. 127 00:07:14,101 --> 00:07:16,401 - More Stooges? - 'Yeah.' 128 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,369 Okay, now where is ALF? 129 00:07:17,371 --> 00:07:19,438 Oh, he's, uh, he's in the garage. 130 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:22,374 Say, Kate, the house looks great. 131 00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:25,710 Of course, that's probably because ALF's in the garage. 132 00:07:25,712 --> 00:07:29,047 Honey, do you think that I made enough punch for 12? 133 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,916 To drink or to bathe in? 134 00:07:30,918 --> 00:07:32,117 [doorbell rings] 135 00:07:32,119 --> 00:07:33,418 (Brian) 'Trick or treat?' 136 00:07:33,420 --> 00:07:35,387 (Lynn) 'Oh, Brian, just open the door.' 137 00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:39,391 (Kate) 'Oh, Blackbeard is home!' 138 00:07:39,393 --> 00:07:41,626 And look, will you 139 00:07:41,628 --> 00:07:43,929 look at all that booty! 140 00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,330 Ar-r-rah! 141 00:07:46,667 --> 00:07:48,333 I wanna go out again. 142 00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,402 Brian, we went to 32 houses. 143 00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,570 Yeah, in eight minutes. 144 00:07:51,572 --> 00:07:53,271 Well, I had to get back to change for the party. 145 00:07:53,273 --> 00:07:56,308 Lizard will be here any minute. 146 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:57,309 Lizard? 147 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,177 You heard that too? 148 00:07:59,179 --> 00:08:00,579 What-what kind of name is Lizard? 149 00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,848 I have a friend in school called frog. 150 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:04,516 Well, why do they call him that? 151 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,084 Because he's a frog. 152 00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:09,154 Makes sense. 153 00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:10,856 I gotta go in the garage, I gotta give ALF 154 00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,090 his share of the candy. 155 00:08:12,092 --> 00:08:13,925 Seventy percent. 156 00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:16,261 Seventy percent is a lot. 157 00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:18,163 He wanted ninety! 158 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,533 We have a daughter dating a lizard 159 00:08:21,535 --> 00:08:24,369 and an alien shaking down our son for candy. 160 00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,239 Let's party. 161 00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,309 Whoa! 162 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,477 Yeah! 163 00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,145 Great haul, Brian. 164 00:08:34,147 --> 00:08:35,213 Thanks. 165 00:08:35,215 --> 00:08:36,548 I'll guard these. 166 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,816 You get back in the house. 167 00:08:37,818 --> 00:08:39,284 The party's gonna start soon. 168 00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:41,486 Oh, but I hate parties. 169 00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:42,387 Everyone pats me on the head 170 00:08:42,389 --> 00:08:44,823 and says I'm growing up too fast. 171 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:47,859 Cut the small talk! Let's divide up the loot. 172 00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:51,830 Okay, one for you. One for me. 173 00:08:51,832 --> 00:08:53,565 One for you. 174 00:08:53,567 --> 00:08:55,200 One for me. 175 00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:57,335 One for me. 176 00:08:57,337 --> 00:08:59,070 One for me. 177 00:08:59,072 --> 00:09:01,373 Not so fast, me bucko! 178 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:05,043 You are growing up too fast. 179 00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:07,979 We'll do this right. 180 00:09:09,416 --> 00:09:10,715 One for me. 181 00:09:10,717 --> 00:09:12,284 One for you. 182 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,389 - Did you see ALF? - Yeah. 183 00:09:17,391 --> 00:09:19,257 And I still have some candy left. 184 00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:20,892 He must be losing his touch. 185 00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:21,927 [doorbell rings] 186 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,162 Oh, I'll get it. 187 00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,001 - Hi, Lynn. - Hi, Lizard. 188 00:09:30,003 --> 00:09:32,871 Mom, dad, this is Lizard. 189 00:09:32,873 --> 00:09:34,372 Hello, Lizard. 190 00:09:34,374 --> 00:09:36,608 Oh, no, uh, you can call me Eric. 191 00:09:36,610 --> 00:09:39,010 You see, he got his nickname in Biology class 192 00:09:39,012 --> 00:09:41,212 because he removed a brain tumor from a lizard. 193 00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,247 Now it's as good as new. 194 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,115 Yeah, well, not really. 195 00:09:44,117 --> 00:09:46,484 It can only, uh, flick its tongue to the left. 196 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:51,423 Very good. Even so that's really quite an achievement. 197 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:53,625 Oh, tell them about the iguana. 198 00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:55,260 - Nah. - Tell 'em. 199 00:09:55,262 --> 00:10:00,298 Ah, nothin', you know, it's just a simple bypass surgery. 200 00:10:00,300 --> 00:10:01,800 You must be very good at Biology. 201 00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:04,536 Were you, were you thinking of becoming a surgeon? 202 00:10:04,538 --> 00:10:06,938 Yeah, I thought about it but, uh, Quantum Physics 203 00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:09,240 is my first love. 204 00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:12,410 Young man, you may not only date my daughter 205 00:10:12,412 --> 00:10:14,145 you may have her hand in marriage. 206 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,747 - Oh. - Dad. 207 00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:17,816 [laughing] 208 00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,284 (Kate) So glad you're here. 209 00:10:22,923 --> 00:10:24,322 Howdy, partner. 210 00:10:24,324 --> 00:10:27,292 - 'Hey!' - Hey-hey, Ed. 211 00:10:27,294 --> 00:10:28,827 - Bernice. - Hi! 212 00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:30,962 Look at you guys. 213 00:10:30,964 --> 00:10:32,564 - You're wearing costumes. - Yeah. 214 00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,566 But we call them duds. 215 00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,836 Well, um, why don't we mosey on over 216 00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,471 and rustle up some brie. 217 00:10:41,508 --> 00:10:43,208 [doorbell rings] 218 00:10:45,345 --> 00:10:47,812 - Hello. - Who are you? 219 00:10:47,814 --> 00:10:49,014 We're the Burkes. 220 00:10:49,016 --> 00:10:50,415 Kate, it's my boss. 221 00:10:50,417 --> 00:10:52,317 This must be Brian. 222 00:10:52,319 --> 00:10:55,286 You're growing up too fast. 223 00:10:55,288 --> 00:10:57,822 That's it. I'm going to bed. 224 00:10:57,824 --> 00:10:59,357 Did you invite them? 225 00:10:59,359 --> 00:11:01,926 - Of course not! - Well, why is he here then? 226 00:11:01,928 --> 00:11:04,262 And why are they wearing costumes? 227 00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:06,965 Maybe they're just trick-or-treating. 228 00:11:06,967 --> 00:11:08,099 What-what am I supposed to do? 229 00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,134 Offer them a peanut butter cup 230 00:11:09,136 --> 00:11:11,169 and send them on their way? 231 00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,372 - 'Hello, Tanner.' - Hello. 232 00:11:14,374 --> 00:11:15,473 Thank you for inviting us. 233 00:11:15,475 --> 00:11:18,476 Well, you're welcome, Your Majesties. 234 00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,679 Uh, w-won't you make yourself at home? 235 00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:23,314 Our castle is your castle. 236 00:11:23,316 --> 00:11:25,283 [doorbell rings] 237 00:11:27,521 --> 00:11:29,888 How come you told me this was a costume party? 238 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,957 Because that's what the invitation said. 239 00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,859 Make yourself at home, won't you? 240 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:36,327 Kate.. 241 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,229 ...uh, somebody seems to have 242 00:11:38,231 --> 00:11:40,899 invited the Burkes and also told all these people 243 00:11:40,901 --> 00:11:42,367 that they should be wearing costumes. 244 00:11:42,369 --> 00:11:44,536 Now, I don't know who that was, or why he did it 245 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:47,038 but I'm gonna go into the garage and strangle him. 246 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,274 [doorbell rings] 247 00:11:50,377 --> 00:11:52,310 Kate, Willie! 248 00:11:53,647 --> 00:11:55,046 Gordon Shumway. 249 00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:56,748 Long time no see. 250 00:11:58,518 --> 00:12:00,752 Oh, hope you don't mind, Willie. I parked behind your boss. 251 00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:09,394 Hey, how are you folks? Hey, you look good in vinyl. 252 00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,496 How you doing? Nice to meet you. 253 00:12:11,498 --> 00:12:13,998 Hey, happy Halloween everybody! 254 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,266 (all) Happy Halloween! 255 00:12:15,268 --> 00:12:18,670 Say, what are you.. 256 00:12:18,672 --> 00:12:20,105 ...doing here? 257 00:12:20,107 --> 00:12:22,540 Greeting the guests. Hey, tex! 258 00:12:22,542 --> 00:12:25,076 Looks like you're putting on a little weight there, huh? 259 00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,345 Ha, ha, ha! 260 00:12:27,347 --> 00:12:28,747 Could I speak with you in the kitchen 261 00:12:28,749 --> 00:12:29,881 just for a moment? 262 00:12:29,883 --> 00:12:31,416 Hey, not now, Willie. 263 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:33,118 Your pumpkin's on fire. 264 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,553 Hah! His pumpkin's on fire! 265 00:12:35,555 --> 00:12:37,589 Come here! 266 00:12:37,591 --> 00:12:39,457 Well, who is this little guy? 267 00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,292 Oh, this is Gordon, everyone. 268 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,195 Gordon's an old friend of our family. 269 00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,797 Bernice, uh, don't mention his height. 270 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:47,766 He's very sensitive. 271 00:12:47,768 --> 00:12:50,235 Hey, cowgirl, nice calves. 272 00:12:50,237 --> 00:12:52,470 Hah! Nice calves! 273 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,638 [laughs] 274 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,373 - Easy. - Oh! 275 00:12:59,079 --> 00:13:01,646 Okay, mister, I want the truth! 276 00:13:01,648 --> 00:13:02,714 And I want it now! 277 00:13:03,984 --> 00:13:05,250 Alright. 278 00:13:05,252 --> 00:13:07,485 Your hair is thinning. 279 00:13:08,722 --> 00:13:11,089 You got a hold of our guest list, didn't you? 280 00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,924 You called those people 281 00:13:12,926 --> 00:13:14,659 and told them to wear costumes 282 00:13:14,661 --> 00:13:16,728 just so you could come. 283 00:13:16,730 --> 00:13:19,497 You dragged me in here to tell me things I already know? 284 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:24,903 On top of that, you invited the Burkes! 285 00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:27,205 Again, old news. 286 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:32,510 Just...tell me why. 287 00:13:32,512 --> 00:13:35,613 Because I really want you to get that promotion. 288 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:38,750 Now-now get out there and start kissing up. 289 00:13:38,752 --> 00:13:39,751 [kissing] 290 00:13:41,621 --> 00:13:43,488 I'm not kissing up to anyone. 291 00:13:43,490 --> 00:13:46,024 Especially, not Walter Burke! 292 00:13:46,026 --> 00:13:47,525 I knew you wouldn't. 293 00:13:47,527 --> 00:13:49,627 That's why I'm here to do it for you. 294 00:13:49,629 --> 00:13:51,462 Oh, Wally! Wally! 295 00:13:51,464 --> 00:13:53,498 No, wait! Wait. 296 00:13:53,500 --> 00:13:54,599 You can't go out there. 297 00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:57,435 What if they discover that you're an alien? 298 00:13:57,437 --> 00:14:00,638 They won't! They'll think I'm wearing a costume. 299 00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:01,573 See? 300 00:14:03,543 --> 00:14:05,310 Where-where did you get that zipper? 301 00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,612 Well, you know that old jacket that you were gonna throw out? 302 00:14:07,614 --> 00:14:09,514 - Yeah. - Better hang on to it. 303 00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:12,283 I ripped this out of your new raincoat. 304 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:13,518 Alright, go on. Go out there. 305 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:17,622 I don't care. Go on. Fine with me! 306 00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:20,158 Blow your cover, that's fine! Just do me one favor. 307 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:24,596 Okay, okay. I'll do my Elvis impression. 308 00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,867 Please, keep away from my boss. 309 00:14:28,869 --> 00:14:31,636 No problem. He seems like a yutz, anyway. 310 00:14:33,707 --> 00:14:37,375 (ALF) 'Okay, everybody, let's tear this place apart.' 311 00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:43,314 - Hi. Come in. - Hi. 312 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:44,916 Mom, look who's here. 313 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:48,519 [laughing] 314 00:14:48,521 --> 00:14:52,523 Well, that's a pretty funny costume you got yourself, Gordo. 315 00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,359 What are those? Warts? 316 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,761 Hey, time for that eye exam there, Edsel! 317 00:14:56,763 --> 00:14:58,329 Those are beauty marks! 318 00:14:58,331 --> 00:15:00,265 [laughing] 319 00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:02,433 What are you supposed to be, exactly? 320 00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,736 An alien, from the planet Melmac! 321 00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:09,007 He's just kidding. 322 00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:13,244 Yeah! Everyone knows that Melmacians don't have zippers! 323 00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:15,113 [laughing] 324 00:15:15,115 --> 00:15:17,282 Oh, I kill me. Ha! 325 00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:24,522 Mom says that we're out of onion dip 326 00:15:24,524 --> 00:15:26,624 and we need more meatballs, and how do you like Lizard? 327 00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:27,692 I like him. 328 00:15:27,694 --> 00:15:29,794 He's intelligent, he's polite 329 00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,362 he's well-groomed. 330 00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:32,630 Does he have a van? 331 00:15:32,632 --> 00:15:33,731 No. 332 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:35,366 I love him. 333 00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,435 What's ALF doing? 334 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,570 Oh, his Elvis impression. 335 00:15:39,572 --> 00:15:43,608 ¶ And on a cold and gray Chicago morning.. ¶¶ 336 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,209 Lynn.. 337 00:15:45,211 --> 00:15:46,611 ...you are missing.. 338 00:15:46,613 --> 00:15:47,946 ..."In The Ghetto." 339 00:15:47,948 --> 00:15:49,948 Oh, my favorite. 340 00:15:53,620 --> 00:15:55,620 We don't lead a normal life. 341 00:15:59,092 --> 00:16:01,092 [applauding] 342 00:16:01,094 --> 00:16:02,126 Well, thank you. 343 00:16:02,128 --> 00:16:03,628 Thank you very much, ladies. 344 00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,430 I'd like to dedicate that last song 345 00:16:05,432 --> 00:16:08,399 to my hunk of burning love, Bernice. 346 00:16:08,401 --> 00:16:10,802 Oh, Elvis! 347 00:16:10,804 --> 00:16:13,638 Love me tender. 348 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:14,839 I will, momma. 349 00:16:14,841 --> 00:16:16,274 Uh, but now, excuse me. 350 00:16:16,276 --> 00:16:17,675 I've got to work the room. 351 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,010 ¶ Oh ho ¶ 352 00:16:19,012 --> 00:16:20,411 ¶ Oh hoo ¶¶ 353 00:16:20,413 --> 00:16:22,580 Oh, ha-ha! Yeah. 354 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,649 Hey-hey, so what did you think there, Liz? 355 00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,285 Whoo! The king lives. 356 00:16:27,287 --> 00:16:29,687 Thanks. Hey, science question. 357 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,323 If there were such a thing as an alien life form 358 00:16:32,325 --> 00:16:34,158 what do you think he'd be like? 359 00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,494 - Huh? - Come on, what are you, deaf? 360 00:16:36,496 --> 00:16:38,529 I'm trying to get some insight. 361 00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,665 You're an egghead, aren't you? 362 00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:43,968 Yeah, I do well scholastically, if that's what you mean. 363 00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:46,637 Yeah, right. What about aliens? 364 00:16:46,639 --> 00:16:48,373 They'd probably have highly developed brains 365 00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,341 and be very advanced. 366 00:16:50,343 --> 00:16:51,876 Well, thank you. 367 00:16:55,048 --> 00:16:56,147 Oh, good, more food. 368 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,282 Sorry, Gordo. 369 00:16:58,284 --> 00:17:00,618 We weren't expecting this many guests. 370 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,886 Well, you're telling me. 371 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:04,522 Your boss eats like he's going to the chair. 372 00:17:05,892 --> 00:17:07,892 Incidentally, how's the, uh.. 373 00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,060 [kissing] 374 00:17:09,062 --> 00:17:10,862 ...kissing up going? 375 00:17:10,864 --> 00:17:12,563 I'm not kissing up to anyone. 376 00:17:12,565 --> 00:17:15,166 I haven't done anything wrong. 377 00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,435 Play hardball. I like it. 378 00:17:19,139 --> 00:17:22,373 [humming] 379 00:17:22,976 --> 00:17:24,308 Hi. 380 00:17:24,310 --> 00:17:26,210 Oh, you mind if I take one of these? 381 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:28,279 Hey, why hold back now? 382 00:17:33,420 --> 00:17:34,819 I can't believe it. 383 00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:36,687 ALF is actually going to put 384 00:17:36,689 --> 00:17:39,524 a lamp shade on his head. 385 00:17:39,526 --> 00:17:43,027 That is probably the corniest party gag there is. 386 00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:46,030 [people laughing] 387 00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:48,166 But somehow he makes it work. 388 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,269 He's the life...of this party. 389 00:17:51,271 --> 00:17:53,438 Even Walter Burke is having a good time. 390 00:17:53,440 --> 00:17:56,541 Honey, you might get that promotion after all. 391 00:17:56,543 --> 00:17:59,310 Sounds like ALF might get the promotion. 392 00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,880 I don't wanna work for ALF. 393 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:05,249 We already do. 394 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,885 (in unison) Gordo! Gordo! Gordo! 395 00:18:07,887 --> 00:18:10,721 Gordo! Gordo! Gordo! 396 00:18:10,723 --> 00:18:14,092 Gordo! Go! Go! Go! 397 00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:16,194 [all cheering] 398 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,628 Hey, thank you. 399 00:18:17,630 --> 00:18:19,230 You know, we couldn't do this back home. 400 00:18:19,232 --> 00:18:20,631 Of course, we didn't have any gravity. 401 00:18:20,633 --> 00:18:23,034 'Ha! Ha!' 402 00:18:23,036 --> 00:18:24,969 Hey, just kidding, Tanners. 403 00:18:24,971 --> 00:18:27,371 'Ha! Alright, who's next?' 404 00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:29,941 Who's next? Uh, hey, how about Walter Burke? 405 00:18:29,943 --> 00:18:31,742 - Oh, no. - Yeah! 406 00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:33,544 No, no, no. 407 00:18:33,546 --> 00:18:34,579 - Not Walter! - 'Walter!' 408 00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:35,746 - 'Not Walter!' - Walter! 409 00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,049 - Not Walter! - 'Walter! Walter!' 410 00:18:38,051 --> 00:18:39,450 Come on, Walter. Give it a try. 411 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,486 No, I got this.. What about my bad back, huh? 412 00:18:41,488 --> 00:18:43,921 Oh, go for it. It-it's Halloween. 413 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:47,325 - 'Yeah.' - Yeah, what are you, a wuss? 414 00:18:47,327 --> 00:18:49,827 - 'Come on, Walter.' - 'Come on, Walter!' 415 00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,829 - Yay! - Be a man! 416 00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:53,131 - Yes! - Alright. 417 00:18:53,133 --> 00:18:54,632 - Come on! - Alright, alright. 418 00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:59,437 (in unison) And go! Go! Go! Go! Go! 419 00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:01,973 (Walter) Ow! Oh.. 420 00:19:01,975 --> 00:19:03,341 - 'Oh, my God.' - 'Oh.' 421 00:19:03,343 --> 00:19:05,843 Mr. Burke, are you alright? 422 00:19:05,845 --> 00:19:08,679 Just get me to a hard, flat surface. 423 00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:12,750 Hey, don't expect high marks on technique, Wally. 424 00:19:12,752 --> 00:19:14,719 [indistinct chatter] 425 00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:19,790 - Goodnight. - Goodnight. 426 00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:20,691 [sighs] 427 00:19:22,762 --> 00:19:25,363 Lizard, isn't there anything you can do? 428 00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,732 Hmm, I-I could remove his brain. 429 00:19:29,669 --> 00:19:31,102 Gordo, be careful. 430 00:19:31,104 --> 00:19:32,837 I know what I'm doing. 431 00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,606 Ahh. Feels good. 432 00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:37,108 - It does? - Yeah. 433 00:19:37,110 --> 00:19:38,509 Go figure. 434 00:19:39,312 --> 00:19:40,511 May I use the phone? 435 00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,813 I-I wanna call Walter's doctor. 436 00:19:42,815 --> 00:19:44,815 Is it a local call? 437 00:19:44,817 --> 00:19:48,786 Gordo! I'll show you where it is, Felicia. 438 00:19:48,788 --> 00:19:51,389 Leave 20 cents on the night table. 439 00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,158 Ah, Gordo.. 440 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,359 ...how can I thank you? 441 00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,694 Easy! 442 00:19:56,696 --> 00:19:59,830 Bury the hatchet and give Willie that promotion. 443 00:19:59,832 --> 00:20:02,500 We both know he's the best man for the job. 444 00:20:02,502 --> 00:20:05,903 He's intelligent, hard-working, honest-- 445 00:20:05,905 --> 00:20:07,205 ALF. 446 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:08,906 Bad with names. 447 00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,576 It's Gordo, remember? 448 00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:13,711 I think Mr. Burke's heard quite enough from you. 449 00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:17,081 You're right. It's your turn. 450 00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:19,217 Go ahead, Willie. Be obsequious. 451 00:20:19,219 --> 00:20:21,686 I have nothing to be obsequious about. 452 00:20:21,688 --> 00:20:23,688 I was taken away from an important project 453 00:20:23,690 --> 00:20:26,190 to look for some stupid water cooler! 454 00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,893 - You're still mad about that? - You bet I am. 455 00:20:28,895 --> 00:20:32,029 You took away something I'd worked on for three months 456 00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,565 because you didn't happen to like tap water. 457 00:20:34,567 --> 00:20:37,201 Willie, maybe I should define obsequious for you. 458 00:20:37,203 --> 00:20:38,569 It means to grovel. 459 00:20:40,373 --> 00:20:41,906 I will not grovel. 460 00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,841 I never knew how strongly you felt. 461 00:20:43,843 --> 00:20:46,444 Alright, you can have your project back. 462 00:20:46,446 --> 00:20:48,179 - I can? - 'Yes.' 463 00:20:48,181 --> 00:20:50,348 Well, thanks. 464 00:20:50,350 --> 00:20:52,016 I guess that settles that. 465 00:20:52,018 --> 00:20:54,552 Hey, wait a minute! Loose end here. 466 00:20:54,554 --> 00:20:56,621 What about the promotion? 467 00:20:56,623 --> 00:20:58,756 Uh, the promotion's a whole separate issue. 468 00:20:58,758 --> 00:21:00,424 We can discuss that later. 469 00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:02,627 What better time? He's in pain. 470 00:21:02,629 --> 00:21:04,695 We can get anything we want. 471 00:21:04,697 --> 00:21:07,565 We'll discuss the promotion at another time. 472 00:21:07,567 --> 00:21:10,534 It's alright, Tanner. You've got your promotion. 473 00:21:10,536 --> 00:21:12,370 I never felt otherwise. 474 00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,739 Oh, good. 475 00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,974 - Would you get me more ice? - Yes, sure. 476 00:21:16,976 --> 00:21:19,710 And this time would you put it in a glass with a little scotch? 477 00:21:22,649 --> 00:21:24,749 You know, as long as you're here, Burke 478 00:21:24,751 --> 00:21:26,651 there's a few other things Willie needs. 479 00:21:28,421 --> 00:21:29,453 Like what? 480 00:21:29,455 --> 00:21:32,657 Well, let's talk parking spaces. 481 00:21:32,659 --> 00:21:34,725 Willie has a parking space. 482 00:21:34,727 --> 00:21:37,161 Yeah, but it's not close enough. 483 00:21:37,163 --> 00:21:40,431 And I understand his office doesn't even have a window. 484 00:21:40,433 --> 00:21:41,999 Well, neither does mine. 485 00:21:42,001 --> 00:21:43,968 That's your problem. 486 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:46,003 And Willie's not nuts about that guy 487 00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,271 that works next to him. 488 00:21:47,273 --> 00:21:48,806 Uh, what's his name? Uh-- 489 00:21:48,808 --> 00:21:50,941 - Simmons? - Yeah, yeah, Simmons. 490 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,009 That's the guy. 491 00:21:52,011 --> 00:21:53,411 He's not pulling his weight. 492 00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:54,679 Get rid of him! 493 00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:57,415 There's a parking space right there. 494 00:21:57,417 --> 00:21:59,917 Oh, yeah, yeah, and let's talk overtime. 495 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:00,785 Overtime? 496 00:22:00,787 --> 00:22:02,820 OT. Yeah! 497 00:22:02,822 --> 00:22:03,954 Overtime. 498 00:22:03,956 --> 00:22:05,756 Willie's working too hard. 499 00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,158 I mean, he doesn't get home 500 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,694 till 7:30-8 o'clock at night I hear. 501 00:22:09,696 --> 00:22:11,762 I mean, what are you guys doing down there? 502 00:22:11,764 --> 00:22:14,465 Give the guy a break! 503 00:22:14,467 --> 00:22:15,900 How's your back? 504 00:22:19,372 --> 00:22:20,938 Come on, Willie. 505 00:22:20,940 --> 00:22:22,807 No, ALF, uh, it's too risky! 506 00:22:22,809 --> 00:22:24,442 I think we'd better go. 507 00:22:24,444 --> 00:22:25,843 Hey, you owe me. 508 00:22:25,845 --> 00:22:28,612 After all, I got you an office with a window. 509 00:22:28,614 --> 00:22:30,314 But I liked Simmons. 510 00:22:30,316 --> 00:22:32,616 I really did. 511 00:22:32,618 --> 00:22:35,019 Trick or treat? Trick or treat? 512 00:22:35,021 --> 00:22:36,721 ALF, your voice! 513 00:22:36,723 --> 00:22:38,356 You're supposed to be a child. 514 00:22:38,358 --> 00:22:39,890 Right. No problem. 515 00:22:41,728 --> 00:22:43,661 Hello, young man. 516 00:22:43,663 --> 00:22:45,096 Hello, old woman. 517 00:22:46,733 --> 00:22:49,567 We're terribly sorry to bother you so late 518 00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:52,136 but we-we couldn't get out any earlier. 519 00:22:52,138 --> 00:22:53,704 Oh, well, I'm afraid that I gave 520 00:22:53,706 --> 00:22:57,541 my last candy bar away over an hour ago. 521 00:22:57,543 --> 00:22:59,910 Aw, shucks. 522 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:02,646 Well, I'll see if I can find something else. 523 00:23:02,648 --> 00:23:04,215 [cats mewing] 524 00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:05,816 Was that a cat? 525 00:23:05,818 --> 00:23:08,085 Oh, yes, I have lots of cats. 526 00:23:11,758 --> 00:23:13,758 Well, I'll take a yellow one. 527 00:23:23,936 --> 00:23:25,936 [theme music] 528 00:23:50,696 --> 00:23:53,130 [ALF laughing]